Starving and being humbled

3/5/12

Hi.

We got a change call last Saturday. Vanhin Rogers will be going to Laapenranta and I will be staying here. My new Comps name will be Vanhin Ogden. I will be sad to say goodbye to Rogers though. He is a super good guy and really easy to get along with. The last two changes have just been really cakey and full of funny memories (many involving star wars references).

This week we were in Kuopio on splits for a bit. Me and Rogers noticed a funny thing about missionary work--that whenever we go on splits, we are usually pretty hungry the whole time. The reason being that we stay over night at the other missionaries apartment and often it is not always free game to snack on whatever like we can at our own apartment. Sometimes it’s just that they don’t say "Ya, eat whatever you want..." which makes you unsure if you actually can eat whatever. And even if they do say eat whatever, I always feel a little guilty still. The best way I have found to not feel like a mooch is by drinking a lot of water.... because although its tasteless, at least you don’t feel like a jerk for eating all their food. I am grateful to be out here, learning the tricks of the trade.

Lately, I have been really frustrated by the language. I am the type of person that does not like something if I am not good at it. I am naturally better at some thing and worse at others, but the things I’m naturally worse at, I usually stop doing. But, I have realized, that I am not naturally good at speaking Finnish. Some missionaries are dang machines, but for me it has always been pretty hard. It has been really humbling lately to realize that I need to keep working and studying at something that I am not very good at. I feel really low in my ability, but that has led me to study better and pray harder. We are called were we are for many reasons. And this is definitely one of them for me, I am learning to really stick with something although it is not natural to me. Its been frustrating, but a good learning experience. The mission is great for that kind of stuff.

Thanks. I love you all. Keep up the good work.

Vanhin Merkley